My boots slid across the stone floor. 'Missed him. I gritted my teeth in frustration as I swore. Where the hell did that damn thing go? I strained my neck to look around me.
Other than my battered, heavy breathing and the slight breeze that passed through the empty, stone-like room, it was terribly silent. Too silent.
But then it came. A stronger breeze passed through, no, a gust of wind went across the arched entrances, into the room. He was coming back...
I clenched my sword in defense, though I knew it would do me no good. "Come out!" I said under my breath.
I could hear a cackle of amusement in my mind. Did he think me a toy? Something cold touched my shoulders, but nobody was behind me. I broke out into a sweat despite myself. He laughed some more in my ear.
"Cut it out already and face me, you creep!"
It was relief to not feel his cold touch anymore, but I would have preferred it if I knew what I would be seeing next would be much worse.
There he was, the one who had escaped the camp long ago. The famous...
"J-jack? Is that you? Wha-what are you doing here?"
Yes, it was Jack. It could only be Jack, with that grin only he could do. That crazy, malicious grin. He bowed, draping his nearly non-existent cape, his tangled hair falling in a mess over his smokey-blue eyes. The man then took a step forward, almost inches away from my face.
"Did you miss me, Jason? Well, I'm back to haunt you, I'm afraid."
Great. Just dandy. And here I thought I was dealing with a regular poltergeist.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
*cackles of amusement*
I started this yesterday, but only managed to finish today. Another idea incomplete.
2 comments:
Ooh, a poltergeist! Intriguing.
When I read the 'smile only he could do' and the name Jack, my first thought was Jack the Ripper! And then the Jason made me think of that movie, Jason and whatsisname, the weird horror movie.
I really like this. You describe action well! It is neat reading this because you don't often submit action story pieces, so this was very different. I like it.
Also, I am curious about these characters. Who are they? Why is a poltergeist attacking? I like how you describe the gust of wind and how that is showing that 'he is here.'
The only thing that seemed off-ish, to me, is the use of the words "stone-like." I mean, is it stone, or not? That read a bit oddly.
Other than that, great job! Very intriguing. Heheh, 'cackle of amusement,' funny title.
I got chills reading this - especially when the coldness was grabbing his shoulder and I thought the same thing as Chai about the Jason and Freddy - the two competitor killers (all those Friday the 13th movies and Nightmare on Elm Street) - I also agree with Chai this is very action packed - keep it up - let's see where you go with it - E :)
(Actually, I'd like to see more of your two girls story when you get a chance to work on it)
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